So I was thinking back to long ago when I was a kid and how things have changed. I remember running errands with my mom when I was like 7 or 8. If it was a quick errand, 5 min or less, she would leave us in the car. I have no idea why, everyone knows that all kids are perfectly behaved when you go inside the bank or store! Inevitably she would come back out and turn on the car. Instantly the radio would blare, the wipers came on high speed, the heater going full blast and the blinkers clicking away. Why, because in the 5 minutes she was gone we would climb up front and pull every lever and turn any knob we could find. We were pretty proud of ourselves and thought we were so funny! Seriously, it never got old. It got me thinking about what kind of memories my kids will have. I think it will be pretty much something like this: My mom dragged me in every store, usually we whined and my mom got frustrated, and I sat in a car seat until I was like 14. It just seems like there are so many laws and regulations nowadays, like there is a law to prevent almost any kind of risk. Don't get me wrong, I am all for car seats and child safety. But I think more about the the bigger picture. Do I protect my kids so much that when they grow up they are going to have a hard time being an independent and capable adult? I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you feel like you had a lot more opportunities to be independent and make choices than your children? Any funny stories from your childhood? I would love the sage advice/opinions from all you mom's out there!Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Musings
So I was thinking back to long ago when I was a kid and how things have changed. I remember running errands with my mom when I was like 7 or 8. If it was a quick errand, 5 min or less, she would leave us in the car. I have no idea why, everyone knows that all kids are perfectly behaved when you go inside the bank or store! Inevitably she would come back out and turn on the car. Instantly the radio would blare, the wipers came on high speed, the heater going full blast and the blinkers clicking away. Why, because in the 5 minutes she was gone we would climb up front and pull every lever and turn any knob we could find. We were pretty proud of ourselves and thought we were so funny! Seriously, it never got old. It got me thinking about what kind of memories my kids will have. I think it will be pretty much something like this: My mom dragged me in every store, usually we whined and my mom got frustrated, and I sat in a car seat until I was like 14. It just seems like there are so many laws and regulations nowadays, like there is a law to prevent almost any kind of risk. Don't get me wrong, I am all for car seats and child safety. But I think more about the the bigger picture. Do I protect my kids so much that when they grow up they are going to have a hard time being an independent and capable adult? I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you feel like you had a lot more opportunities to be independent and make choices than your children? Any funny stories from your childhood? I would love the sage advice/opinions from all you mom's out there!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Man, when I was little, we ran around the town all day. My mom would send us to Thrifty for an ice cream cone...over a mile and a half walk each way etc. We were never home. When my mom comes over, she can't handle the chaos... She always wants me to send the kids "out" to play. Uh....can't do THAT anymore. NOT SAFE! Kids DEFINITELY have less independence now days...the world is not as safe for THAT kind of independence. It is harder on the moms, really. However, this generation NEEDS to be at mom's feet learning more than past generations.
I do lock my kids in the car sometimes....to drop off a movie or pick up pizza...too big of a hassle to unload and reload 4.
Amen to everything you said!!! We could keep our little car if it weren't for car seats!! They take up so much room. We can fit 5 adults easy in the car, however 2 adults and 3 kids in car seats...not gonna happen. Although I agree they do keep the kids safer and speed limits are a lot higher now than they used to be...
I agree with Kim that our kids need our direction more than ever because they just don't (can't) get it anywhere else!
I think about this issue a lot as well. I loved being a kid before seatbelts were a big deal. I remember going on family vacations and LAYING in the back of our LONG station wagon or 4 of us sitting back there playing UNO. Many things have changed so much -some good, some bad. It has always been that way with each generation. Good thing is our kids don't know any other way -& don't miss it. They have to put up with our 'memory' stories. I trust it will all work out fine - they will have their fun memories and also the things that drove them crazy too - Like the rest of us. Even the kids of the most perfect parents will have their list of grievances... I guess it is the universal experience- meant to bring us to God to make peace with it all.
I had A LOT of freedom as a child, too much and I even told my mother that. I played in the creek by my house, the one where strange men would go on occasion and drink beer. She also let me ride my bike all over town, I would be gone hours, ride on main roads, just to go and get a jolly rancher stick (pink lemonade was my fav, that and cinnamon). I thought she was crazy for letting me then, I most certainly would never let my kids do that now.
That said, I do think there are things we can do to help our kids be independent and responsible, like giving them choices all day long, and teaching them the natural consequence rather than shielding them from it. Taking them to parks and letting them play for hours if they want will give them the "carefree childhood" we seem to remember and feel that our children need.
Life is different now, and will be still more different when our children are in our shoes, if they know they are loved and have good memories of time together, the difference in the generations won't really matter, at least that is what I am hoping.
This cracks me up! Everything you said is so true and to the T. I remember going up Cedar Mountain to go get a load of wood with my family. This would happen almost every Saturday in the summer. On the way up, all of us children (7 of us) would ride in the back of the truck. No big deal right? On the way back down, all of children would still be riding in the back of the truck, except sitting on an old van bench seat that was sitting on top of our nicely stacked load of wood. We would be sitting as tall as the top of the cab of the truck, with wind blowing huge snarles in our hair, bugs fly into and sticking to our teeth, and branches wacking us as we got to close to some trees. That was all fun, but as I look back at how dangerous it was, and how our parents didn't even think twice about it. These days if we weren't pulled over we would probably all be dead. It is a scarey thought indeed.
When I was 5 years old I used to walk to the 'Piggly Wiggly' about 1/2 of a mile from my house in Albuquerque with my little sister in tow to buy a piece of chocolate candy for a penny each. We could take an empty coke bottle and get 4cents back for it and each have two pieces of candy.
We played until it got dark outside and dad would blink the porch light when it was time to come home. That was our only rule, 'stay where you can see the porch light'.
We only ate out for special occasions and we had to be dressed up. We were expected to sit politely and be quiet and believe it or not...we did, even when we were very small. No such thing as fast food...we waited for the food to be cooked and served.
There was no such thing as seat belts. We climbed all over in the car and each other. We would take family vacations with all seven of us in a Sedan...4 kids in the back and one between mom and dad in the front. We drove for a thousand miles and thought we had the best time of our life. And guess where we went for vacation??? To visit relatives. Very happy memories.
I feel so fortunate to have grown up in less complicated times.
The other day, Chelsey was asking me about what kind of cars we used to have when I was little. We got talking about it and how my mom had a Lincoln that we called "the stinkin lincoln" and it had a "circus seat" just a fold down between the 2 back seats that we all fought over who got to sit on it. I told her how we didn't have to wear seat belts and we all just piled in no matter where we were going. Then I told her how I used to walk from my house, miles, to go to the Holiday gas station and get candy and a drink with my best friend. We crossed all kinds of busy roads and what not. Not even thinking twice about it. I played at friends houses all day long, if this person couldn't play, then there was someone else a few houses down. She said "it sounds like you had a lot of fun when you were little." I said, "yep, I did."
I now will not even go through my neighborhood without my kids seatbelted in, I got pulled over at the airport one time for Chelsey not being in her seatbelt, I was tired of fighting with her and I got a ticket for it. I am over the top about seatbelts too. Chelsey will be 8 soon and not required to have a car seat, but I keep thinking, how will she be safe, the seatbelt doesn't really fit her very well, what if we get in a wreck, she would be dead. I am over the top I tell ya!
My road is a little on the busy side, and has a stop sign right out front. I hate to let my kids play out front alone because I think oh, someone can stop at the stop sign and grab my kids and then be gone, just like that. And I think that they are going to get hit on their bikes. There are not very many kids right by us in my neighborhood even for my kids to play with and I won't let them ride their bikes just a few streets over to play with some of the kids in the ward. I'm crazy, I know!
I remember coming home from Kindergarten and fixing my own lunch on the stove and everything. My kids don't even know how to work my stove, and that's because I won't show them, they could get hurt.
Today, I listened to a talk on CD by Merrilee Boyack called "Teaching your Children to Fly, a guide to independence" I need to listen to it a few more times so I can learn what she is teaching, it all sounds so nice coming from her, but also sounds so hard to do! I will work on it though because I know that my children need to have good 'childhood memories' too!
I remember turning all the levers and such on in the car. I even remember helping Dale put the car in drive to drive into the car port while mom ran inside to go to the bathroom between errands. My mom was a seat belt freak our whole lives and we had car seats and all that jazz too. We still had lots of fun and memories of being happy and independent. I don't let my children play in the front yard ever, but I don't mind the back yard. I remember once when my parents were cleaning the church, Nathan and I got bored and decided to walk home by ourselves. Our parents had locked us outside (so we wouldn't make more messes) so we didn't bother to tell them we were going. It was a couple of miles home and we were really young. Of course they freaked out and found us just as we were walking up the drive way and took us all the way back to the church so they could finish cleaning. Life was different then or we were just ignorant of the terrible things that were going on so we weren't scared. Just think what our grandchildren have to look forward to!
I totally agree with you. I'm glad there are extra cautions for most part, but I think it's gotten ridiculous. I think the car seat companies have gotten together with lawmakers to make more money. It's crazy how long they want kids in car seats. It's so sad to me that things are so unsafe now and we can't let our kids roam. Since they are always around me, I try to create independence in other ways. An example is when they climb up something and want help down, I'll have them do it themselves so it's not like I'm always coming to the rescue and they always feel so good when they accomplish is alone. If you have any ideas as to how to create independence, i would love to hear because I think independence creates confidence which is so important to being a successful person and in choosing the right. Confidence is so important I think. I also think being self sufficient creates independence and confidence. I was just talking to my sister-in-law and she had great ideas on how to help kids manage money from a young age. I want to do that with my kids. So many kids are given so much without working for it these days. So those are just a couple things I think we can do in this day and age where we can't just let our kids be alone very often, but yet give them some independence and confidence. Oh, I would love those recipes you mentioned on my blog. They all sound so yummy. We do some of those, but I like trying new recipes to compare and use the best one. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Post a Comment